A Winged-Seed

A Winged-Seed

 

Circumstances often make life difficult, challenging—even discouraging.  We make choices that we think are best for us, but then we suddenly find ourselves in situations we wish we could escape.

My first job after college brought me into just that situation.  After a one-year internship with a non-profit organization, I took a job in their Human Resources Department.  This was a switch from the department I had interned with, so I was a 25-year-old newbie.  I was excited to work with such a hopeful group of people doing a purposeful work. 

However, soon after reporting to my new job, I realized that the department was undergoing a complete overhaul.  I found myself sitting in hours of meetings talking about things I new nothing about.  I wanted to “learn the ropes” but it turns out they were busy weaving and tying new ropes.  I would have to be a part of building a new structure with the team.  I felt like I was free-falling.

On one particular day, our small department gathered in our director’s corner office.  Two of the walls were floor to ceiling windows.  Looking out the window was the best thing about the meeting.  My thoughts consumed me.  I was extremely discouraged with doubt and unable to focus on the conversations taking place.  I don’t think I am cut out for this work.  Did I make the right decision?  What am I doing in southern California?  How will I ever find my way back home?    

Then, something outside the three-story window captured me.  Contrasted against the waving green leaves of a tree and the clear blue of the sky, I noticed a fluff of cotton-like material, suspended, floating.  I quickly figured out it was a tiny seed circumferenced by millions of miniature feathers—tufts that took it into flight.  A little up, a little down, onto the next windowpane.  It danced on the tremors of the breeze along the windows and gradually out of sight.  These words came through the ticker tape of my mind: You are exactly where you are supposed to be.  There is not accidental breeze.

As a Christian, I suddenly saw God’s hand in my circumstances.  As that little seedling went rolling, bobbing and tumbling through the air, its Designer and Creator knew exactly what course it would take and where its final destination and destiny would be.  And as serendipitous as it seemed to be floating along, a Sovereign Hand was overseeing its comings and its goings.  And just as this Hand knew that seed’s destiny, so it knew mine.  My Designer and Creator knew I would end up sitting in that room—overwhelmed, discouraged and doubting.    

In His sovereignty, He had led me to this new job, which was 2,000 miles away from my Northeast Ohio hometown.  One moment can be delightful, another horrific and painful.  I cannot avoid the latter.  I cannot have only delightful moments.  But I can know the One who is with me.  The One who sees and oversees.  The One who guides and abides.  The One who encourages and consoles.  The One who endured his own moments, who lived with two feet on the ground while circumstances and emotions went swirling.

The choices I made which led me to this corner office meeting were no accident.  I was not in the wrong place.  I was on a journey.  I would have many adventures, many sojourners, many lessons, and many memories. 

It has been 10 years since that seed swirled in and out of my life.  It’s brief visit brought perspective and courage to many of my days.  Just recently, I stood in my kitchen taking care of my 6-month-old baby girl.  Our first child.  Almost a pure delight, she was having one of her rare grumpy moments.  As I walked past the island countertop, I noticed a black fleck and scooped it into my hand to discard.  How did you get in here, I hurriedly thought, recognizing an old friend.  In the creases of my cupped hand sat a single seed attached to a few tufts of feather, just enough to give it some flight. 

My thoughts turned into tears and rolled down my cheeks.  No matter how difficult motherhood would be, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  There was no accidental breeze.  God created her on that June night and gave her to her Daddy and me.  

There were many more lessons and memorable moments during my first job.  If all goes well, the next several posts will come from those experiences.